The newest core-chiseling exercise craze sweeping across the white upper crust of America is creating stunning six-pack abs all from the seat of your car – the Tesla Model S P90D in Ludicrous mode, to be exact.
Trent Carter went saw his stomach go from flab to hardcore abs in just three weeks thanks to his new Tesla Model S P90D.
“I bought the Tesla Model S P90D with Ludicrous mode because I thought it would give me the edge with picking up girls, and I always liked that rapper in the early-2000s,” said Carter, the 29-year-old Vice President of Sales at his Father’s Boat Dealership. “‘Roll Out’ was my jam back in high school when my dawgs and I used to drive around in my Dad’s BMW 740i. Those were the days.”
Carter is re-living those days of picking up makeup-caked women with low self-esteem thanks to his new exercise plan in his Tesla Model S P90D.
“My abs would be sore the day after I showed all these Mustang and Camaro drivers who owned the road after racing them at stoplights in Ludicrous mode. After about two months of teaching those douchebags what’s up, I noticed that I was getting a six-pack.”
Carter’s spearheading the routine with an array of workout videos on the popular social media video website, YouTube, teaching “wanna-be bros” the proper way to “get chiseled”. The routine starts with one hand on the 12-o’clock mark of the steering wheel while the car is at rest in Ludicrous mode. Upon flooring the throttle, Carter instructs viewers to “keep that lean, bro” in an effort to “fight the power” until you get to 60 mph. After ten reps at stop lights, viewers are instructed to switch their hands and lean to the other side to get an even abdominal workout. When the battery is almost drained, your workout is finished.
“I’ve already reached out to Ludacris for my upcoming 30 minute abdominal workout DVD. It’s going to be lit fire. My Dad already said he’d invest in it.”
This is another one of our ‘Exposed Motoring’ satirical news features. If you actually believe these stories are real then we either did a really good job of putting it together or you’re dumb as a rock. We’re going with the latter.